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Pastor Annette's Blog

"OF ALL THE THINGS GOD HAS SHOWN ME, I CAN SPEAK BUT A LITTLE WORD . . . NOT MORE THAN A HONEYBEE CAN CARRY AWAY ON ITS FOOT FROM AN OVERFLOWING JAR."
~ MECHTHILD OF MAGDEBURG, 13TH CENTURY MYSTIC

To be Alone without Being Lonely

4/1/2014

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Beloved:

2:30 ~ 3 am ~ I clutched a pillow over my head to shut out Scout’s crying

3 ~ 3:30 am ~ she was quiet

3:30 ~ 4 am ~ While she cried I mentally listed synonyms for cry.  I came up with wail, weep, whimper, whine, moan, sob, scream, screech, sniffle, bay, bark, groan, howl.  

4 ~ 4:30 am ~ We went outside. We had a snack. We snuggled in the recliner. While she dozed in my lap I started on the adjectives; hysterical, loud, persistent, annoying, exhausted, afraid, sad, lonely.

4:30 ~ 6 am ~ I gorge on the sleep of the innocent.

6 am ~ She’s crying. The day begins.

Scout is a baby animal of a species born into litters meant to live in packs.  By design she should sleep in a warm pile of puppies, not alone in a cage. My old sweatshirt is a sorry substitute for brothers and sisters. Extraction was my idea which makes me her litter and her comfort, the consolation for her loneliness.

To be alone without being lonely comes no easier for most humans.  Wishing and wanting others to pay us more attention, we hold them responsible, make it their fault we are lonely.  Resentment takes root. Bitterness breeds. We retreat further into a crate of self-pity and sadness all the while failing to notice the door isn’t locked.  It isn’t even closed. 

Comforting ourselves, taking comfort in God is learned. We train ourselves to it through intention and practice. Trusting the promise of his presence, we learn to be satisfied with the communion God offers; communion that is constant and quiet, received and accepted.  

The morning is far gone. She knows I’m nearby so Scout doesn’t need to cry, only come get in my lap every so often. Right now she’s under the coffee table wrestling yesterday’s Herald Times into submission.  But I don’t dare take even the tiniest nap lest she find my knitting again. Vigilance is my only sure defense.  

I pray this gorgeous day you know yourself wrapped completely in God’s loving presence.   peace and prayers, pastor annette




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    I write a Tuesday morning devotional to members and friends of UBC.  It is also posted here. 
     
    Enjoy!  
    Pastor Annette

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    Everything on this site is licensed under a Creative Commons license, which gives you permission to copy freely, provided that you attribute the work to me, that you use the work for non-commercial purposes, and that you do not produce derivative works.

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Bloomington, IN 47401
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  • Home
  • Start Here
  • Staff
    • Annette Hill Briggs, Pastor
    • Rob Drummond ~ Music Minister
  • Listen & Read
    • Sermons
    • Pastor's Blog
    • #ITSYOURCHURCHTOO >
      • About >
        • When & Where?
        • Ministries >
          • Worship >
            • Music
            • Worship Arts
            • Worship Resources
          • Fellowship >
            • Wednesday Night Supper
            • Church Recipes
          • Service >
            • MCUM Collections
            • Habitat for Humanity Project
          • Vacation Bible School
        • Our Story >
          • Denomination
          • Who We Are
        • Contact
        • Calendar
    • Social Media Feed
  • Give
  • Newsletter
  • Recommended Reading