Things to Reconsider

March 3, 2020

Beloved:
 
Seven hundred and seventy miles southeast of here the azaleas are in full bloom, along with the daffodils and snapdragons.  The air was light and warm and the Savannah sunshine positively dazzled. Now I’m home in a house that is quieter than quiet, in a place where winter lingers.
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All the news is noise and chaos, but not one thing told is new.  When I shift my gaze just slightly, I see winter passing swiftly as a thought.  The forest outside of my house is full of singing birds now. They land on my deck flowerpots to pick through last year’s leftovers, choosing twigs for their new nests.  I save up bits of yarn to leave them and hunt for later when I look up in the trees. Once I saw a strip of dried-up duct tape woven to look like silver brickwork.

The seasons turn and I feel older; older and deeply beholden to the One who allows me another turning of the light.  Another Holy Season to reconsider what to keep and what to let go.

I’m letting go of worry, especially about whether I am getting enough done, which is actually just cover for “do other people think I am getting enough done?” — which is actually cover for my insecurity and doubt.

I’m keeping joy -- the joy of having work that matters, that I enjoy doing, with awesome people who are not in fact judging me.  I am keeping that joy by working enough but not exhausting myself or others. I am keeping the joy by resting, by eating kindly, moving kindly and seeking the beauty only found in a southern Indiana late winter season.  Keeping joy when I am so tempted to worry and fret is a fundamental exercise of faith for me, and I suspect for others too.  If you haven’t come upon a particular Lenten practice yet, I invite you join me in it.