Proclivities and Crises

Beloved:

       I read once that Winston Churchill worked from his bed every morning until 10 AM.  I wonder if his furnace was shot too?  Our new one is ordered, but until it arrives we keep warm with two space heaters we got on clearance at Rural King.  We move them around the house as needed, but I’m too cozy to take this one to my study and wait for that room to heat up.  So the dogs and I pile on the bed with my coffee, breakfast, books and computer until time to leave for an afternoon of sewing with Global Women’s Gathering.

       Outdoors seems warmer than in, and I don’t like it.  Except for the broken furnace I’d rather have snow than daffodils right now.  The snakes and frogs are going to wake up soon and then be exhausted by June.  With days both warm and short I keep forgetting what month this is, that we haven’t had Spring Break yet.

       I complain as one who struggles, and yet I have no inkling of actual hardship.  A chilly house on a cool day is a crisis for no one.  For someone as steeped in economic and social privilege as me, it’s probably a sin to mention it, except for the sake of calling ourselves out on such privilege.  I wake up every morning in a neighborhood of people as conditioned as I am to confuse inconvenience with crisis, proclivity with necessity.  To be clear, waiting on one’s new furnace is inconvenient.  Having no money to buy a new furnace is a crisis.  Wishing for pretty snow is a proclivity.  Warmer weather is a necessity for people without heat.

       Mine is to buck up, cheerfully, to do my day without complaining in that certain tone which suggests I deserve my furnace sooner rather than later.  If I deserve anything at all, I deserve more opportunities to break up the embedded thinking that keeps me from growing in love and grace.  I need the experiences, uncomfortable as some are, that expose blind spots in my worldview and block me from deeper, more profound community.

       I’m glad to be on this path with the likes of you all.  Also, I have a recipe to share.  My trainer gave it to me in a note about better bread.  I made it yesterday and it’s so good.  Next time I’m going to add a bit more salt and some honey.