Pastor Annette's Blog
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"OF ALL THE THINGS GOD HAS SHOWN ME, I CAN SPEAK BUT A LITTLE WORD . . . NOT MORE THAN A HONEYBEE CAN CARRY AWAY ON ITS FOOT FROM AN OVERFLOWING JAR."
~ MECHTHILD OF MAGDEBURG, 13TH CENTURY MYSTIC |
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Jan 28, 2025 Beloved ~ Until the test came back negative for both strains, the urgent care doctor was confident I had the flu. Then she peered down my throat with her pointy flashlight and said, “Uh, oh.” I haven’t had strep throat since my tonsillectomy twenty-plus years ago but it’s as awful as I remember. Popsicles and jello, ramen chicken noodles and advil. But mostly I just slept and slept and slept, for the better part of three days. Then I woke up and have stayed awake in the daylight since, feeling the twin miracles of cheap antibiotics and a salaried job which allows me time to heal, along with the ever present, ever pesky sense that I should get more done since I am home anyway. I think if I were dying of a terminal disease, on a good day I could still feel guilty about dirty dishes in the sink, when I want not to care about dirty dishes under any condition any day! I want to always choose the life giving, joyful task of the moment and do that with a free heart and mind. Sometimes that’s washing dishes, leaving my kitchen all sparkly clean. More often it's playing with my grandkids or cutting out a new quilt, knitting, reading, laughing with my friend on the phone. But I don’t always choose those tasks, or I don’t choose them joyfully, as if I don’t deserve to be joyful unless the dishes are done and the floors are swept. I could blame it on how I was raised, since I was most certainly raised to work first, play later. But I am old now, far too old to blame anyone but myself for hanging on to toxic notions I might have long ago forgone. I’ve no such expectation of others but rather hope they take all the time that healing takes, to rest without sleeping, lay on the couch watch sewing tutorials, even if they no longer have a fever, even if their throat is no longer on fire. Healing has some not-as-sick-as-I-was-but-not-yet-entirely-well days and we are allowed to rest on those days too. I do wonder if we aren’t most susceptible to relapse when we don’t, when we jump up and attack the day out of the anxiety of failing to fulfill our duty. But here’s the thing, being sick is not a failure. Being sick is not a failure! Intellectually, I know being sick is not a failure but practically, I still struggle, behaving as if my To-Do List is more critical than everyone else’s. This takes a degree of arrogance I suppose and, of course, arrogance finds root in the soil of fear. If, when learning to work, I picked up the notion that working makes me worthy of the good things in this world, this life - didn’t I naturally also learn that not working = not worthy? If I learned that I only deserve what I earn and produce, be it money, community or reputation, what happens to me if I can no longer work, even for four or five days? When fever and pain subside enough to allow conscious thought, I get anxious, maybe even snappish to those around who only want to help. I don’t feel well enough to work nor sick enough to stay down. Unlearning toxic messaging isn’t easy, but it’s doable, for those committed to healing body, mind and spirit. A doctor told me once that the only difference in how old people and young people heal is time. The older we are, the longer healing takes but healing does take for everyone willing to put in the time. I pray this day finds you on mend in whatever ways you are hoping for. ~ peace & prayers 
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 Jan 21, 2025
Beloved ~ Cold as a well digger’s lunch box is how my father-in-law described weather like today. The predicted high temperature is 9 degrees, with a windchill of -9 overnight. Cold enough to freeze everything in the well digger’s lunchbox, I should think. All of the city shelters for our unhoused neighbors are over capacity but turning away no one, making up pallets on floors wherever there’s space so that everyone who wants to can sleep indoors. At the Severe Winter Emergency Shelter where several of us volunteer, guests come in cold to the bone. We trade their wet socks for dry ones, stuff their pockets with hand warmers, wrap them in blankets and keep the coffee and hot chocolate flowing. As one volunteer said, everyone is medically fragile in this weather. It is such a privilege to be part of this life-saving project and I’m really proud of how our church has stepped up to volunteer and to provide supplies these past weeks. The cold is expected to last throughout most of February, so we have lots of days left this season. Consider getting involved in some way.* As another pastor and I were debriefing a recent shift at the shelter, we got to talking about the spiritual nature of the work, things God is showing me, as she described it. The most significant for me lately is that when we are dead center in the will of Christ, serving the least of these with what we have, even then we do not have the luxury of everything being easy, going smoothly, coming out perfectly. Instead, the work of the kingdom in this world is messy, imperfect, frustrating, exhausting, crazy, hilarious, sad, fun, sometimes scary, and usually horrifically underfunded. I am not sure I believed otherwise before working at the shelter, but the insight does somehow feel new to me. Knowing we are doing God’s will doesn’t make God’s will any easier to do in a world so resistant to it. The work would be profoundly easier with some community funding - with some paid staff and a permanent location. Then again, it would lack the generosity, good will, humility and courage of this set of volunteers who are willingly trading their personal time, effort and energy to provide such hands-on tender care to neighbors whose life situations are profoundly different from their own. And that would be a big loss - or at least, a very different kind of work in our midst. My point, I suppose, is that the Spirit is most definitely in the mix on the nights the severe weather shelter happens. It’s better than any tv show or movie, if that’s how you spend your evenings. I never wonder what God is doing in the world these days, because I see it every shift I work. Please keep yourselves and everyone around safe in this weather. Let your church know if you need help. Peace & Prayers, annette, pastor, preacher, neighbor, mama, grandma, quilter, knitter, dallier, reader, friend, gardener ~ in no particular order *Some particular BSWERS needs right now: travel size hand lotion - something like this any size winter coats, especially larger mens’ sizes women’s warm pants, size 4 or 6. Cough drops - big bags of individually wrapped Travel size tissue packs Date Jan 14, 2025 Great to be away ~
I like thinking about how New York is home to people as much as Bloomington is to me, how all over the world people are busy at essentially the same things; taking care of their people and their spaces, making meals and folding clothes, rocking babies and grocery shopping. Museums and shows have their place but I love ordinary neighborhoods, seeing how people live. Thank God for the spots on the planet where life is stable and safe enough for people to live without fear of some great rack and ruin of their way of life; social, economic, political or otherwise. It happens and I can think of nothing worse than the loss of one’s home and everyday stability.
As we begin another year together, I pray you are taking care, keeping warm and finding lovely indoor things to do these days. I know the Bloomington Severe Weather Emergency Shelter is very much in need of volunteers so sign up if you can. Thanks to those of you who helped last night, some called in at the last minute. The shelter expects to be open most nights over the next four weeks as these bitter temps and more snow are predicted. I appreciate you all so much and am so glad to live, pray and serve among you. Peace & Prayers, annette, pastor, preacher, neighbor, mama, grandma, quilter, knitter, dallier, reader, friend, gardener ~ in no particular order |
I write a Tuesday morning devotional to members and friends of UBC. It is also posted here.
Enjoy! Pastor Annette Copyright
Everything on this site is licensed under a Creative Commons license, which gives you permission to copy freely, provided that you attribute the work to me, that you use the work for non-commercial purposes, and that you do not produce derivative works. Archives
April 2025
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