Pastor Annette's Blog
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"OF ALL THE THINGS GOD HAS SHOWN ME, I CAN SPEAK BUT A LITTLE WORD NOT MORE THAN A HONEYBEE CAN CARRY AWAY ON ITS FOOT FROM AN OVERFLOWING JAR."
~ MECHTHILD OF MAGDEBURG, 13TH CENTURY MYSTIC |
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January 30, 2024
Beloved: My condo home is cozy, but without the streaming sunlight needed for these houseplants I keep adopting; so this winter I hung some grow lights* and am watching the magic as it happens. When I add a humidifier to the treatment, my plants plump and shine, practically shivering in the pleasure of it all. The prayer plant (maranta leuconeura) has not only stretched and added leaves, a whole new shoot has come up in another area of the pot. The limpy Christmas cactus starts I potted in the fall are suddenly dark green, thick and smooth. Any day I expect to see them standing at attention in their yogurt cup. I’d all but killed my maidenhair fern (adiantum pedantum) and she is nearly back to her sweet swaying self. A pink-gold glow now permeates my living room and study where I spend most of my time, leaving me to wonder, am I also growing? Are my limbs about to plump and shine? Will my own limpy spirit find new strength and life? For $8 a pop, that’s a far better deal than healthy houseplants, don’t you know! I expect someone will email me about the lamps designed to help humans feel less depressed in winter, a brilliant invention – Florida in a lightbulb! My own plants’ happiness works much the same on me. Their joy makes me joyful. I feel part of something bigger, older, wiser and more mysterious just by turning on their lights and mist, by mixing up their fertilizer – science that still can’t explain the original why of life, why creation is here for our participation and joy in the smallest of proofs. If my own growth could be measured, I doubt there’d be much change through these short gray days of winter. But I am most definitely sustained, in no small part by fussing over a few frivolous plants. Along with a grandgirl, three kids, their partners, a congregation and a dog, I have a community in which to practice and participate in the ever-living mystery of creation, in real time. A life that matters, enormously, which I am grateful not to miss. *Grow Lights ~ I bought these locally, cheaper than any I found online. 8 lights for $65. Easily installed.
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These are my reading years, I tell myself. I still have a good number of my wits about me. I can both hold a book and see it simultaneously. I live five minutes from a library with lots of parking, ten from an amazing bookstore. Besides that, winter is the reading season. The ground is frozen hard as iron, and I’ve nowhere to go worth suiting up for 6 degrees plus wind chill. Even the house finches and titmice are snuggled down somewhere out of this wind, so no bird feeder action to watch. With all this time and motivation, you’d think I’d get caught up, or at least a little closer to moving books from the unread shelf to the read ones. Alas, but what is a person supposed to do, just walk right past the .50 book table at the UCC holiday sale?
I’ve decided there are worse problems than too many books. In fact, there may be no such thing as too many books, not in winter surely, when the power could go out at any time. I can read and knit by headlamp as long as the batteries hold, and I’ll run out of yarn well before I run out of pages. I pray you are finding joy that keeps you warm these freezy days as well. January 9, 2024
Beloved: Golden retrievers are water dogs, bred to follow hunters through wetlands and fetch shot ducks out of lakes and ponds, soft-mouthing them back with hardly a feather out of place. Birdy has never touched a duck, but she does beg to go lie on the driveway in this cold winter rain. Her outer coat can be soaked but her kinky undercoat keeps her body dry and warm. She also fetches pacifiers from under the crib and soft-mouths them back to the giggling toddler. Snow - yes please. Rain - no thank you, the worst as far as I’m concerned. No other weather comes inside my house or makes me work like winter rain – all those gritty muddy paw prints, dirty shoes and dampy clothes. The floorboards of my car get extra messy. On days I’m required to go out, I never feel really warm or dry. I feel poorly even if I’m not. So for the exercise, I thought I’d find something to appreciate about my least favorite weather. In a minute, I found myself remembering pandemic, when staying home was required and I realized how long a day really lasted when no errands were allowed and no time spent driving to and from work. No time getting ready for work nor coming home and unpacking, changing clothes to start the evening routine. Just one long stretch of time, so much time, time to read, nap and cook even as we worked. Meanwhile the bank account got just a little flusher, for staying home to eat and all of those missed and not so necessary errands. Believe me when I say I don’t miss pandemic a bit, except for maybe that one bit where I learned something about what is and isn’t necessary, about how much time a day contains when the necessary holds sway. So little that I fret over will prove itself to have been necessary, I suspect. So I want to fret over as little as possible. Easier said than done, amen? I don’t know how simply to not fret. I only know how to do the next thing in front of me without letting the worries cause me to stall. They may be on the edge of my mind, but as long as they don’t invade the day and level me completely, I choose to count that as a win, count that as not fretting. It’s all I know to do these days, and for me it’s working. Joy still seeps through the cracks and I find my heart a little lighter. I made the puppy come inside. Her fur is standing on end like she’s used pomade all over. The rain has stopped for now and she’s content behind my desk chair, blocking me in while she dreams and snores. She has it all figured out, I think: rush into nothing and nap as much as possible. And be ready for snacks, always be ready for snacks. I pray the day treats you gently, and you know some joy seeping through the cracks. January 9, 2024
Beloved: Golden retrievers are water dogs, bred to follow hunters through wetlands and fetch shot ducks out of lakes and ponds, soft-mouthing them back with hardly a feather out of place. Birdy has never touched a duck, but she does beg to go lie on the driveway in this cold winter rain. Her outer coat can be soaked but her kinky undercoat keeps her body dry and warm. She also fetches pacifiers from under the crib and soft-mouths them back to the giggling toddler. Snow - yes please. Rain - no thank you, the worst as far as I’m concerned. No other weather comes inside my house or makes me work like winter rain – all those gritty muddy paw prints, dirty shoes and dampy clothes. The floorboards of my car get extra messy. On days I’m required to go out, I never feel really warm or dry. I feel poorly even if I’m not. So for the exercise, I thought I’d find something to appreciate about my least favorite weather. In a minute, I found myself remembering pandemic, when staying home was required and I realized how long a day really lasted when no errands were allowed and no time spent driving to and from work. No time getting ready for work nor coming home and unpacking, changing clothes to start the evening routine. Just one long stretch of time, so much time, time to read, nap and cook even as we worked. Meanwhile the bank account got just a little flusher, for staying home to eat and all of those missed and not so necessary errands. Believe me when I say I don’t miss pandemic a bit, except for maybe that one bit where I learned something about what is and isn’t necessary, about how much time a day contains when the necessary holds sway. So little that I fret over will prove itself to have been necessary, I suspect. So I want to fret over as little as possible. Easier said than done, amen? I don’t know how simply to not fret. I only know how to do the next thing in front of me without letting the worries cause me to stall. They may be on the edge of my mind, but as long as they don’t invade the day and level me completely, I choose to count that as a win, count that as not fretting. It’s all I know to do these days, and for me it’s working. Joy still seeps through the cracks and I find my heart a little lighter. I made the puppy come inside. Her fur is standing on end like she’s used pomade all over. The rain has stopped for now and she’s content behind my desk chair, blocking me in while she dreams and snores. She has it all figured out, I think: rush into nothing and nap as much as possible. And be ready for snacks, always be ready for snacks. I pray the day treats you gently, and you know some joy seeping through the cracks. ~peace & prayers, pastor annette * Sleep more * Drink more water * Write more * Think less * Spend less * Do less * January 2, 2024 Beloved: Years ago a therapist told me that the most powerful force in our lives is inertia. At least once a session she reminded me that nothing is more difficult for humans than changing. What seem like the smallest changes are often the most challenging, because they really aren’t small at all; they are habits long practiced and deeply ingrained. Even the word habit may be wishful thinking, when addiction might better serve. The one thing I know for sure is that self-kindness is key, laced with as much patience and grace with myself as I would offer anyone else. Another key is connection; support and encouragement figure hugely in our capacity for change. Even without the same goals, sharing the struggle to change is powerful. Otherwise I am easily deceived into believing I am weak while others are strong, instead of the reality that change is hard for everyone. Baby steps, the next key. Each of the goals above consists of more than noted here - “drink more water” is really “try to drink a little more water this week than you did last week” . . . rather than “drink 64 ounces of water and absolutely no soda every single day!” The last thing anyone needs is a mental mean boss yelling orders while we try to speak kindly to ourselves. The world is hard enough these days and the new year is shaping up to be another full of violence and division, so whatever we can do to be a loving presence to ourselves and others will surely go a long way towards creating a kinder, more loving world. Whatever you seek more or less of in the new year, friends, I am glad we are seeking it all in each other’s company. Happy New Year! ~peace & prayers, pastor annette January 2, 2024
Beloved: * Sleep more * Drink more water * Write more * Think less * Spend less * Do less * Years ago a therapist told me that the most powerful force in our lives is inertia. At least once a session she reminded me that nothing is more difficult for humans than changing. What seem like the smallest changes are often the most challenging, because they really aren’t small at all; they are habits long practiced and deeply ingrained. Even the word habit may be wishful thinking, when addiction might better serve. The one thing I know for sure is that self-kindness is key, laced with as much patience and grace with myself as I would offer anyone else. Another key is connection; support and encouragement figure hugely in our capacity for change. Even without the same goals, sharing the struggle to change is powerful. Otherwise I am easily deceived into believing I am weak while others are strong, instead of the reality that change is hard for everyone. Baby steps, the next key. Each of the goals above consists of more than noted here - “drink more water” is really “try to drink a little more water this week than you did last week” . . . rather than “drink 64 ounces of water and absolutely no soda every single day!” The last thing anyone needs is a mental mean boss yelling orders while we try to speak kindly to ourselves. The world is hard enough these days and the new year is shaping up to be another full of violence and division, so whatever we can do to be a loving presence to ourselves and others will surely go a long way towards creating a kinder, more loving world. Whatever you seek more or less of in the new year, friends, I am glad we are seeking it all in each other’s company. Happy New Year! |
I write a Tuesday morning devotional to members and friends of UBC. It is also posted here.
Enjoy! Pastor Annette Copyright
Everything on this site is licensed under a Creative Commons license, which gives you permission to copy freely, provided that you attribute the work to me, that you use the work for non-commercial purposes, and that you do not produce derivative works. Archives
December 2024
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