Pastor Annette's Blog
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"OF ALL THE THINGS GOD HAS SHOWN ME, I CAN SPEAK BUT A LITTLE WORD . . . NOT MORE THAN A HONEYBEE CAN CARRY AWAY ON ITS FOOT FROM AN OVERFLOWING JAR."
~ MECHTHILD OF MAGDEBURG, 13TH CENTURY MYSTIC |
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January 31, 2023
Beloved: I woke up at 5:02 am with dog breath puffing in my face from above. We went out and came back in. An hour later, the same. Another hour later we had just come back inside when she vomited on the floor. And so has gone the morning. She does her business so I know she’s not obstructed, a common trouble with golden retrievers, after they’ve eaten a sock or a dishrag. She drinks and eats her cream of chicken soup. I’m pretty sure she has a tummy ache so she’s resting in her crate while I scrub the carpet and start another workweek. There’s the sermon, of course, poking me in the shoulder, no matter what else I’m doing. And the church building, always begging for something.* This past weekend an entire gutter fell and was dangling above the sidewalk. But best of all, always, is the flock, the beloved – to call, to write, to visit and/or otherwise keep up with. I love it. Even though I’m not as good at it as I once was, I love keeping all of your storylines in my head over time and then looking back to see how God has worked for good in our lives and our life together. I rarely feel like I’m doing big work, but I know it’s important work that is cultivating spiritual community in the land of self-interest and debilitating loneliness. To that end, we’ll finally have another Wednesday Night Supper tomorrow after our long holiday hiatus. Some have asked about the soup I’m making, so the recipe is linked here. I’ll have something vegetarian too. Others are bringing sides and a birthday dessert for Rob D.’s 50th! Don’t miss this chance to spend time at the table this week. Call the church to sign up to bring something or just show up! ~ peace & prayers, pastor annette *Madeleine L’Engle wrote that “having a house is like having another child, as it’s always begging for something.”
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January 24, 2023
Beloved: If I’m quiet on the inside and patient on the outside, I know what to do when the time comes to do it. I’m talking about the hard things: hard conversations, hard decisions, steps in a particular direction. But – and this is a very big but (as a preacher once said in a sermon, sending my kids into giggle fits) – the quiet and the patience are usually excruciating, excruciatingly slow . . . and, also, hidden. Hidden behind the prayers or the rest or the counsel necessary for the revelation required. Patient friends are a godsend, let me tell ya. Friends who come sit with me and go for walks with me and Birdy. Friends who drop off soup or invite me out to Sunday lunch. They tote my stuff and haul away oceans of cardboard, not because I can’t but so I won’t have to think about it. They are how I make it through these days. Who we are to each other is how we all make it through whatever each day brings, amen? Just knowing I CAN call a friend is enough sometimes, without ever actually calling. That’s trust. Knowing they will come if I need them gives me the strength to carry on a little longer. There are no words for saying thank-you for this lovingkindness, only prayers of gratitude for their lives and for the faith within and between us. I am not glad for this season of my life, but I am ever-so-grateful for how loved I am discovering myself to be. It is carrying me in ways for which I have no words, other than those Paul wrote to his beloved church at Philippi: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my God for every remembrance of you. (1:2-3) ~peace & prayers, pastor annette January 17, 2023
Beloved: I’m confused enough these days without the weather being wacky. This morning’s breeze felt springy, not wintry like January air is supposed to feel. I wore too warm a coat to walk Birdy this morning. I positively hate being sweaty in a coat. That said, it's a beautiful day and I hope you can get outside a bit. Inside there’s plenty to keep me busy. Paying bills and writing emails. Phone calls and laundry. Books to read and notes to write and sermons to plan. Boxes to unpack and things to put away. The duties of the day are the makings of a life, I suppose. What we pour ourselves into today we live off of tomorrow. I want to live in peace, so I am doing what I can to make a peaceful home, to build a peaceful existence. Restoration, I suppose, via orderliness, dependability, and trust. Save a burst pipe or a downed tree, home is where life does not surprise us, where we can truly let down our guard and, as I am learning to learn, rest. In her little book The Quotidian Mysteries: Laundry, Liturgy and “Women’s Work," Kathleen Norris wrote about the possibility of dragging order out of chaos via the daily tasks required for human existence: meals, laundry, caring for animals, caring for a home. Of course I’m wise to the fact that this world is full of tragedy and terror. Not everything will be resolved by humans simply caring for the ordinary duties of their lives. But it would be an interesting experiment for everyone to go home, make their beds and prepare their own supper, wash their own dishes afterward and then go to bed early. No new chaos inflicted. No new trouble made. Each one keeping their own backyard tidy. Who knows what order might naturally result? World peace aside, the quotidian routine is about all I can manage these days, and the mystery of its grace is seeping into me. Grace that seeps into me like breath, reminding me that I’m alive and moving, creeping forward, but moving all the same, into another day of peace. ~ peace & prayers, pastor annette *quotidian ~ occurring every day; belonging to every day, commonplace, ordinary  January 10, 2023
Beloved: This morning I’ve been thinking about carrying on when my body and my spirit would much prefer to pull up the covers and go back to sleep: to sleep and sleep and sleep. And some days, sleep is the best choice. But every day I get up, make my bed, drink coffee, write in my journal and walk the dog. I feel better for it. The grief, fear and depression are not gone, but they feel manageable, lighter. I am a little clearer and more able to face the day. It sets the day up as one in which I am still alive and have a future. The future – as in, five minutes from now and every minute after that – that speck of time in which I expect to be healed, not all at once like I would prefer, but cell by cell, body and soul. Not surgically either. Pharmaceuticals are helpful, but the treatment consists mostly of time and enormous doses of patience, intentional patience, patience that knows time is the most essential treatment and time cannot be rushed. Because I can write about it doesn’t make me good at it. I could also write about how bitterness and resentment keep me up at night and hound me through the day. I’d trade patience for a pill in a heartbeat, if such pills existed. I’d trade away months of my life to skip these months of one-cell-at-a-time healing days. But this is where I am, where I know so many others also are – in the midst of healing so slow it feels we might be moving backwards. And since time always goes forward, we are carrying on whether we feel like it or not. And therein is grace, I think, that time keeps pulling us forward. No matter how we feel in any given moment, time is pulling us through one moment into the next. But by God’s grace, we are carrying on! I’m getting the message now that it’s time to walk the dog. So let us move into this day with whatever peace we can muster, trusting God to carry us along. ~ peace & prayers, pastor annette  January 3, 2023
Beloved: “Happy New Year!” Or as I am trying to think about it, Leaning On the Everlasting Arms. This is the work of faith for me this season. The 2010 remake of True Grit is one of my favorite movies, and “Leaning On the Everlasting Arms” is the theme music of the entire film. It’s woven throughout, but if you only have time for a little, listen to the beginning and the end, the end where Iris Dement’s wailing voice brings the whole story to perfect conclusion. I can’t do everything that needs doing – not alone, nor all at once. Humility and patience, gratitude and mindfulness. Being here now does stretch the day. And just like Mattie in the movie, the people around me are sustaining me with love in the shape of labor. We have a few things going on in our life together, including stewardship packets -- please talk, pray and think about your financial commitment to our work; Early Wednesday Prayers and Bible Chat; choir rehearsals; and Wednesday Night Potluck Supper. I am excited to begin another year with you. ~ peace & prayers, pastor annette True Grit Soundtrack ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f55n4YenPjQ |
I write a Tuesday morning devotional to members and friends of UBC. It is also posted here.
Enjoy! Pastor Annette Copyright
Everything on this site is licensed under a Creative Commons license, which gives you permission to copy freely, provided that you attribute the work to me, that you use the work for non-commercial purposes, and that you do not produce derivative works. Archives
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