I didn’t settle down to knit until nearly 10 last night. An insane but beautiful project full of cables and twisted stitches, like a fisherman’s sweater except it’s a blanket made of yummy blue wool. “Just a few rows,” I told myself, before discovering Gone With The Wind was starting.
Around the time Atlanta fell I made a mistake. I checked the pattern and reknitted three rows of a small section. While Scarlett picked cotton, killed the Yankee, stole Mr. Kennedy from Sue Ellen and saved Tara, I made another mistake and nearly went blind counting stitches to find it. Three more rows ripped and reworked. Scarlett got drunk after the funeral and with equal foolishness, I carried on as well, making another mistake almost instantly. Try as I might I couldn’t find it. Rhett and I both walked away. He went to Charleston or New Orleans or Paris. I went to brush my teeth and discovered it was nearly one am. Good Lord! I couldn’t garter stitch a dishrag at one am!
Naturally I couldn’t fall asleep for thinking about the movie and the knitting, still trying to right both wrongs. But some wrongs are too long in the past and some mistakes prove themselves less complicated in the light of day. All the wishing in the world won’t let us retract tragic wars or hurtful words. All the expertise in the world won’t solve problems when we’re too tired to see straight. Neither of which prevents us from wishing and trying and failing again. And again. And again.
I’ve no idea how to prevent a war people are determined to fight. I’ve been jealous and stubborn but never hungry or frightened enough to marry for money or commit murder. Heaven knows I’ve been foolish and headstrong, determined to fix what ought to be left alone until I am better rested. No doubt heaven also knows but it’s worth us imagining too ~ what a grandly nicer world we might have if everyone would just go to bed on time. I pray the day and night give you good rest. ~peace and prayers, pastor annette