These last few days of summer vacation 2012 are bittersweet for me. Number Two heads to college this time next year, and I feel him leaving already. He needs me less every day as he keeps his own calendar and drives himself to appointments, work and practice. Our oldest already runs her own show beautifully and the baby of the family starts her first job today, selling t-shirts and school supplies to college students. More often then not, Carl and I are on our own for supper which is actually pretty fun.
With fewer meals to cook and fewer places to drive I can sew and garden longer. I go to the gym more. I pray and read and write more. It’s like when I was pregnant twenty-two years ago ~ only instead of a daughter, the baby I’m having is me. As the intense years of mothering wind down, I am excited to discover what else God will bring to life through me.
I’m also a little sad. I miss the little ones who used to live at my house. I miss their voices and the smell of them in my lap after a bath. Plus, after 22 years I am have the hang of this life. I’m something of a specialist, an expert in fact. On everything else, I’m a beginner. Starting over isn’t just scary, it’s embarrassing. I have ask for help, take risks, try hard, make mistakes and then try again. It’s uncomfortable and unknown.
Turns out, I rather like thinking of this new school year as pregnancy - but, joyfully, without the sore back and fat ankles. I like imagining that God has planted life in all of us that in due time will make it’s way into the world through us and that every experience and stage of life along the way prepares us for the next. Ours is not simply to wait, but to live in this moment fully, as gratefully as we can.
I pray this sunny day finds you confident of of God’s good work in you and through you. peace and prayers, pastor annette