I was out of the dentist’s office and at the coffee shop by 9 am where I ran into a recently retired ministry colleague I’ve known twenty years and rarely seen without a coat and tie. Today he’s sporting jeans and the shadow of a beard ~ convincing me that someday I shall excel at retirement!
Someday is not this day however. I have devotionals to write, commentaries to read, worship to plan, congregants to call and a dozen other duties I will fail to finish. Seeing it lined up on a page embarrasses me slightly, at the lightness of it all, at the easiness of this life I casually refer to as a calling. I take so few risks and the few I do are to reputation only, neither life nor limb. I go without nothing necessary. My worries and griefs are the most ordinary sort.
I’ve chosen the safer, lighter, easier path of pastor-with-only-a-sprinkle-of-prophet-here-and-there-but-only-when-I-feel-extra-brave instead of the prophet/preacher-through-and through-without-a-thought-for-what-hearers-think. When I’m generous with myself I remember that everyone is doing his or her best most of the time and God is graceful with me too even as I am called be my bravest and do my best.
All the same, the graduate students at the next table are interested in theology, environmental ethics and liberation science. They are discussing the history of Christian theological appropriation of Charles Darwin. And sadly, or maybe joyfully, my first thought is that I get to retire before them.
I pray the new year is treating you kindly. ~peace & prayers, pastor annette